Succeeding at the Dating Game

As a professional matchmaker I've talked to hundreds of both men and women about their dating experiences. How you show up on a first date is critical. And, over the years I've come to realize there are a few key characteristics that can make your first date work, or not. Below, are descriptions of the most predominate behaviors that can either make your first date your last or by avoiding these pitfalls, giving you a chance to start something wonderful.

THE INTERVIEWER....this is a date, not a job interview. I know there are certain things you want to find out about this person, but try to be natural in your conversation and don't show up with a list of questions. Even if these questions are only in your mind and not actually written down on a piece of paper, it comes across as if you are interviewing your date to be your mate!

THE CHATTER BOX....sometimes when people are nervous, they chatter incessantly just to make sure that there are no quiet spaces in the conversation. A little pause is really okay - and much better than rambling on just to keep things moving. Try to keep the conversation balanced by asking questions but also sharing about yourself.

THE INTERROGATER....remember, this is a first date. Try to keep things light. There are questions that are appropriate for a first date and many that are not. You are just getting to know this person, so questions about why they left their ex or questions of a sexual nature are simply not appropriate at this point. Talk about movies, vacations and books they like - much less emotionally charged!

I'M SO WODERFUL....there is nothing worse than a night out where the other person talks about themselves the entire evening. Again, you may just be trying to keep things moving and your favorite subject is you, but it is very important to show your date that you are just as interested in them.

TMI....I'm sounding like a broken record here, but this is the first time you are with this person, so keep the subject matter on a positive note and fun. This is not the time to share that you were emotionally abused as a child, or about your most personal health issue. You'll have plenty of time to share these things, but give your date a chance to be enamored with you and to fall for you before you get into the heavy stuff!

OLD FASHON ADVICE....A woman wants to feel like she is being courted - so guys, make her feel special! In a word, be a gentleman. And for you ladies, the more you act like a woman, the more it makes him feel like a man!! Be feminine, be flirty, just be a woman.